Friday, September 27, 2013

Life Lessons from the Sea # 18: A tribute to Martin Eugene Myers



As some of you may know, my step-dad suffered a heart attack and passed away a week ago today. This is really the first chance I’ve had to do any writing (apart from his eulogy) since he first entered the hospital on September 18 and my family made a mad cross-country drive to see him. I am grateful to say that we arrived in time to share our love before he entered the surgery that he ultimately did not survive. 

Today, I dedicate my blog post to him, Martin Eugene “Gene” Myers. Although Gene was not a great lover of the sea, he still took our family to lakes and pools because he knew how much we enjoyed it. He rode in my family’s boat on Grand Lake, swapping nervous grins with me when water sloshed over the back side because we had so many people onboard. Gene preferred to have his feet firmly on the ground.

Still, there is much of the sea that represents Gene’s spirit. He was as reliable as the tides, always where he committed to be, when he said he’d be there. His voice was a cool ocean breeze, salty, invigorating, full of lilting melody. He sang or hummed all the time. 

If he were a fish, he’d be a clown fish, making us laugh with his crazy antics. Trying to set my little brother up on dates. Eating my science fair experiment. Planting a garden so big it would feed a whole city. Or maybe he’d be a sailfish, slicing through the sea with incredible speed, one of the few fish that manages to fly above water. Gene loved driving fast, watching fast cars, trains, and planes.

He held tight to his beliefs like a mussel clinging to rock. If he were an ocean plant, he’d be kelp, rising from the murky ground to reach the sunkissed surface where otters would wrap themselves in his loving and safe embrace. I will miss his hugs and his unconditional love. I will miss the ways he made me laugh. 
Farewell, Gene, and God Bless.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Life Lessons from the Sea #17: Everything gonna be aaall right!


Montego Bay, Jamaica

I’m in the Caribbean today, experiencing one of the thousands of cultures that thrive along the coastlines and islands of the world. It’s amazing the variety of lifestyle and beliefs that can be found. 

Although a laid-back attitude seems common. It’s not universal, but I’ve seen it in Mexico and Malta. I’ve observed it in friends-Fiji islanders, Micronesians, Hawaiians, Tongans, the list goes on. 

Maybe someday I’ll visit all those places and find out for myself. A girl can dream, right? For now, I’m finding out about Jamaica.

“Irie, mon,” says the dwarven lady in front of me. Her bright yellow shirt emphasizes her smooth dark skin and coordinates with the black, green and yellow dresses hanging limp along storefronts under the scorching sun. It was so much cooler at the resort with the wind blowing off the ocean. Here there is no breeze and the cement pavement underfoot reflects the sun’s heat, baking us.

She’s persuaded our group to leave the craft mall across from our hotel in Montego Bay to check out her “little shop.” It turns out to be quite a distance away, around the corner from an old entrance to the resort. The gate’s closure has hurt her business. 

Despite her small stature, the woman—Nicoia—walks surprisingly fast. She moves and talks with an energy typical of her culture. She focuses on me as we walk, explaining that my name, Renee, is a Jamaican name, too. She seems very happy about this. And happy in general.

“Say, ‘Irie,’” she tells me. “Mean everything gonna be aaaallll right.” Her smile is wide. We’re dripping with sweat as she unlocks her store front. “See what I mean? I got to close up shop and walk all that way to find customers. Nobody wanna come.”

Her shop is smaller than most on the main strip, although a few were smaller still, more like closets, admitting only one person at a time. Nicoia ushers us inside, shows us her swim shoes, wood carvings, Rastafarian hats sporting dreads. Tells us we’re her first customers today. It’s 2 o’clock, but I believe her. Her shop is not exactly on the beaten path and I’ve seen few other tourists while we’ve explored the craft mall.

The hawkers here are aggressive while saying they’re not. They enter your personal space thrusting necklaces or animal carvings in front of your nose, telling you all the while, “take a look. No pressure.” They beg you to come into their shops, and although they’re persistent about it, they’re still really sweet. “You stop on your way back,” they say, “no charge for looking.”

Earlier, an older woman took my hand when I entered her shop, held it for awhile, and asked about my life. Her name is Phyllis. She introduced me to her daughter like I was a new family member and gave me a tight hug. I didn’t buy anything there. Now I’m wishing I had. Phyllis is rail thin, looking like a stiff gust of wind could blow her away if she ventured closer to the sea. Maybe I’ll stop by later this week.

We’re exploring more of the island tomorrow. I’m excited to see the spectacular Dunn’s river falls and ride a tram through the jungle canopy. I’m anxious to meet more Jamaicans, see what life is like for them. I wonder how’d they’d be if they lived in the states. How would I do on the island? I think we’d both thrive. The transition could be difficult, but we humans are adaptable, and can flourish just about anywhere.

The foliage here in Jamaica is gorgeous, even along shorelines where coastal plants must adapt to survive salty, harsh conditions. They’re different from what you’d see inland, bearing coarser bark, and thick, water-retaining leaves. But they’re still beautiful. So it is with all of us. By anyone’s standards, Nicoia’s and Phyllis’s work is difficult. Yet they exude vitality, beauty, and enthusiasm.

They inspire my takeaway for today—bloom where you’re planted.

Humans manage to find happiness or misery, wherever they are, depending on what they seek. Whether in the midst of vacation or struggling with illness, discouragement, loss and misfortune, we can choose to thrive. I’ve seen it here. I’ve seen it at the hospital beds of friends and family. I’ve read it in the words of holocaust survivors. Like Nicoia and Phyllis, we can choose to work hard, choose to connect and choose to smile.

How do you bloom where you’re planted?

Friday, September 6, 2013

Life Lessons from the Sea #16: Putting in that extra effort


Drake at the lake, raft steadied by brother-in-law-to-be, Devon

Our family has tried to fit in a few final trips to the lake in the waning days of summer. Our trips to the lake, while fun, aren’t without kinks. Dented tailgates, lost parts, deflated rafts, dead batteries and mysteriously malfunctioning engines. Needless to say, taking the family boating requires a significant amount of work and forethought. But it results in immense fun, deepened relationships and memories to last a lifetime.

So it is with anything worthwhile. Sometimes we may be tempted to coast through life, just trying to survive. I know I’ve felt like that a time or two, particularly when my children were young. But I learned that if I bear in mind a greater purpose than just making it through the day, life becomes more enjoyable. I may actually work more, but the payoff is so great that it’s worth it.

For example, when I was growing up, I took piano lessons. I know this was a sacrifice for my family. Not only did they spend their time and money on the venture, but they suffered through my early stages of learning to play. As I grew older and my skills improved, they became a source of joy for my parents. They’d ask me to put on mini concerts for the family or friends who happened to stop by. Although they enjoyed the music, I’m sure they derived as much or more satisfaction from seeing me progress and develop self-discipline.

How much easier would it have been to plop me in front of a TV when I was young or simply send me outside to play. But the extra work my parents put in resulted in a closer bond between us as well talents and self-discipline I wouldn’t have otherwise developed. Not to mention my gratitude.
I’m not suggesting that everyone learn to play a musical instrument (wouldn’t that be fun, though?). What I am suggesting is that as we approach life, we approach it with a purpose and goals in mind. As we do so, life becomes so much sweeter.

How do you approach life with purpose?