Family Guide to Your Favorite Apocalypse

At this time of year, we find ourselves looking over our shoulders for zombies, ghosts, vampires and witches. Which brings me to the crux of this post—how to protect your family when the paranormal day of reckoning descends.

Any survival guide will instruct you to stockpile food, drink, and medicines. But did you know that bug spray will repel vampires? They hate the bitter taste of Deet and citronella on your skin. This is a great trick to use if you’re loathe to kill the fanged creatures via sunlight or some other method. And since some vamps reportedly play piano and have sparkly skin, teenage girls may become enraged should you choose lethal protection when a simple mosquito repellent will suffice. We don’t want a teenage girl apocalypse. Think of the make-up, the glitter, the tears. Slammed doors, stomping feet, shrieks reaching pitches only bats can hear. No. We certainly don’t want that.

 

Now, a witch apocalypse is something civilization has already faced, at least in Oz. A barrel of rainwater will come in handy should witches try to enchant you or stir you into a melting pot of humanity. Most witches dissolve under a deluge of water. Those who are more resistant can be fought off using glow sticks. Their warts and crooked teeth look hideous under such lighting, causing them to flee in shame.

 

 

We’ve survived an endless trope of zombie movies, merchandise and even businesses. From these, one thing is clear—with an impending zombie apocalypse, it’s essential to hide your brain. Adults and young children must master a glazed look that will trick zombies into believing they are already zombified. Teens, on the other hand, have a head start due to their intense involvement with smart phones and video games.

 

 

Ghosts are a different matter altogether. Unless a Ghostbusters unit operates in your neighborhood, you must rely on online ghost removal tips, the most pertinent, being to clean your house. If that’s the best solution, I better figure out how to get along with ghostly intruders. So don’t be surprised if you visit and hear moans and howls, although that could just be my children.

 

 

 

Speaking of children, what I really need to know is how to survive a lego apocalypse. I swear they’re popping up everywhere, forming themselves into spaceships, chariots and warriors. I’m sure one stabbed my toe this morning.

 

 

Or a glitter apocalypse. What with all the Queen Elsa costumes this Halloween, we just may drown in a tide of glitter. It’s swelling to fill my house already. And what about a laundry apocalypse? I can just imagine my old, moldy clothes gaining a life of their own and taking over known civilization. Quick! Get the Oxy Clean!

 

Ah…the life of a family in October, full of fun and fantasy, a world I love to live in.

What’s your favorite apocalypse and how do you plan to survive?

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Family Guide to Your Favorite Apocalypse

Family Camping Fun--Spooks, Pranks and Meaning

As the weather cools, bugs all over the countryside run for cover. Unfortunately, so do many of us! What better time for us apex predators to trek out into the woods? No mosquitos to bat away, no sweat dripping down our backs, and no tick-checks or chigger bites to discover when we return home.

Fall is perfect for camping and hiking (and hunting—if you really get into that predator bit!). What could be better than huddling around a campfire, roasting hot dogs or toasting marshmallows? I’ll tell you—scaring the bejeebers out of the person standing next to you, especially if they’re you’re kiddo!

It’s best to start out with creepy stories, maybe something out of Tolkien or a nice reading of Lord Voldemorts’ revivification ceremony. Or whip out your one of your old favorites, such as The Golden Arm. Then have someone snap branches in the woods or jump out of the shadows with a shout!

Honestly, I’m not one for anything too frightening or gory and I certainly don’t want to give my kids nightmares or send them screaming into the tents. That only results in wet, smelly sleeping bags and weeks of munchkins trying to climb in my bed at night. But a fun little prank or a campfire story that makes our hair stand on end, well, that’s what family camping is all about. That, and building memories and family bonds that will last a lifetime.

What are some of your favorite campfire stories and pranks?

Thanks for reading!! Please share my blog on facebook or tweet this post! Then get on outside and enjoy this beautiful weather while it lasts  :)

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Family Camping Fun--Spooks, Pranks and Meaning

Four Great Ways to Control Family Chaos

So, it’s pelican time here in northeast Oklahoma. Grand Lake is covered with the huge white birds. Flocks of them wheel across the sky, landing on the water, diving to score scrumptious fish. Any time in the month of October, they can be spotted soaring over our green hills and valleys. They’re quite beautiful, their white wings edged in black paint, stark against the clear blue sky.

Normally they fly in gorgeous, precise vees, winging their way south. This, apparently, is a great way for birds to travel. The leader takes the brunt of the air resistance, creating a slipstream that eases the way for the birds that follow. As they fly, they rotate positions so no one bird is always breaking the wind. Other times, they move in flocks, sweeping back and forth in orderly motion. Either way, they’re breathtaking.

But they don’t always behave how we’d expect. A couple days ago, when I picked my kiddos up from school, half the students stood outside, staring up at the sky. Hundreds of pelicans flew overhead, in chaotic paths, with no visible rhythm or coordination. They looked more like a frenzy of bats exploding from a cave than the graceful avians that usually fly formation across our October sky.

And it got me thinking. There’s a strange likeness between my family and the pelicans (no, it’s not the beak). Sometimes my home runs smoothly, with my husband or me leading our fledglings in a graceful dance through school, chores, church, community. Sometimes we even let them lead, just for the practice (not to mention a much needed break for us!). At other times, all hell breaks loose and we are more like the crazy, chaotic flock I saw that afternoon. Lost shoes, forgotten homework, urgent papers to sign, five bucks here, another three there…right now, right now, right now!! An orderly day dissolves into turmoil.

After some consideration, I came up a few tips that help me prevent the chaos and regain my balance after it (inevitably) descends.

Pre-flight checklist

The Night Before

Gather them in: Encourage everyone to collect their backpacks, shoes, instruments, etc. Choose tomorrow’s outfit. This saves a few precious minutes in the morning and can prevent fashion-related meltdowns (not that I’ve ever had one of those myself *furtive glance*).

What’s the plan? Shortly before bedtime, remind the family of the next day’s activities. Coordinate who is picking up who where—very important in large flocks like mine where we also have a teenage driver.

Managing Mornings

Meaningful Moment: Rise a little early so your family has time for a meaningful moment. We do a 5-10 minute family worship each morning at 645. This typically involves Bible stories or scripture reading. We’ve been doing this for about 12 years and have seen a huge improvement in our family unity. Adapt this to meet your family’s needs.

Feed the monsters: There’s a lot of ways to do this. Several of my kids eat at school while the others have band practice. For those needing to eat at home, I keep quick breakfasts on hand—bagels, fruit, oatmeal, cold cereals. I might confess to providing poptarts—just don’t tell the PTA! For our family, Saturday mornings are the best time for homemade breakfasts.

Avert last-minute disasters: Keep jackets, hats, gloves, umbrellas, hair-ties, and extra socks (we always are losing socks!) in an easy-access area so they can be grabbed on the way out the door.

Give ‘em love: Life is tough in the big, bad world of school. Deadlines, testing, bullies, and unreliable friends are just a few of the stressors facing our sweethearts. They need a safe haven and the constant assurance that they are loved at home.

Regain Sanity

Meditation. After the kiddos are off to school, I take a jog (my form of meditation). Some days I work out before they leave. Either way, I feel better physically and mentally. That makes me a better mom and leader.

Music. On days when I need to rush off to work, I queue up my favorite songs on my phone and unwind during the drive.

Mmmm… A cup of hot herbal tea soothes my spirit after a hectic morning. Hot chocolate works even better, but I gotta limit those!

Afternoon Rush

Munchies. Need I say more?

Pushing Papers. As soon as the kids return home, or as soon as possible, sort through papers, sign important stuff, get homework started.

Even with careful preparation, raising a busy family is often hectic. But a little extra planning and a hefty dose of patience can smooth the way for teamwork, cooperation, and lots of smiling faces. Happy flying!

What are some of your tips for keeping your family life running smoothly or recouping from an off-kilter experience?

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Four Great Ways to Control Family Chaos